JUST SOME QUESTIONS AND THOUGHTS

• Tell me am I fooling my self ? 
• Are people really reading my blog ?
• Do I really have something to say ,that people are willing to read ?
• Is my idea for a Great American Novel a pipe dream ?
• Do I really have it in me to do this ?
• Is this just another project I get started on and don't follow through on ?
• When will I know and realize that I can complete this project ? 
• These are just some of the many questions I have been asking myself . I started doing searches on Roman history and Culture . I am finding it a interesting read . I have written about many things and have had a lot of people clicking on my blog and few response's . Most were encouraging and positive . The plus ones even gave me some motive to go on . I do know that when I always start on a some thing new in my life I always run into a period of questioning as to is it really worth me trying . Am I wasting my time and money . Is this normal behavior , I have no idea . Right now all I am doing is just venting to get it of my chest . I do find that doing this in some way even no one reads it kinda helps . I am sitting drinking my coffee and listening to the news this early mourning . Its chilly outside as to be expected with this time of year . I am still tempted to open my door to let some air in . Cool crisp air can be refreshing and I find it helps give me some newly found energy ,even helps in clearing my mind giving me a new sense in direction . Am wrong wanting to question myself ? I just need to know that I am not traveling down a road to nowhere . What good is doing something if no good comes of it . I know that the road to success is paved with failure .Its not the the failure that bothers me , its the not following through that gets me . I have started many things and never followed through .This may be the main reason that I am where I at in life . I am facing the fact that I am ultimately responsible for my successes and failures and not following through . Writing this down just makes more concrete . Maybe by seeing it print may give me the motivation to continue . I know my project may take a lot of my time and effort . It also may take a lot of time to see results . 
• When do you know when you have done enough preparation ? I know I have only been working on this a couple of weeks . It will take some time for me to know the subject . You can study a subject a life time ;there will always something knew to learn about it . There always be new coming out about any given subject discovered everyday . So it becomes a constant learning experience . Please excuse my going of in a tangent , this just an exercise in discovering what i know about what needs to be done  . This is just a effort in self realization . A way to figure out do I really have what it takes to complete this .
• And so its time for me to end this exercise . I believe I have asked my self all the relevant questions that I can think of at the moment . So leave this blog to what is . Only time can tell . So I will see you again as continue writing this blog and keep reading and looking for more resources . May even look for some college classes on the topics involved .
• I thank you ,who are reading this for listening to meaningless meanderings .