This one going to take a couple of day to write. I want give this one a lot thought . For on Thursday is my 59 the birthday . This mourning I got up and rode in to town for breakfast . The little place I went to is only open till two and they do breakfast all day . It just little place , and model cars and trucks all over place . Fifties stuff all over the place . Its called Mel's Dinner . Its really cool to look at all the stuff . Its the kind of place where the men hang out in a corner and talk all mourning about every in life possible , the ladies also meet each other before going about their daily business . I had a real relaxing slow breakfast , enjoyed just sitting there .
I then walked around town checking out stores for a little metal lunch box that I could strap on the back of my bike . So I can carry a little snack or lunch for my long rides that I do occasionally take. I did manage to find something I could use after checking out three stores . I then went the local barbershop to get my hair shaped up . So I could look like something , not rag-a-muffin .
What this all have to do with my writing a long thoughtful blog ,that will take a couple of days to write . Well , if you don't know by now ,you have not been reading my blog all the long . Its all about feeling good about myself and moving toward with my life . Here I am turning 59 and starting all over again from scratch . I have been taking small steps to moving toward , with the job I have now its all about moving forward ,getting the cash flowing again . Once I get some form of motorized transportation , I can think about some serious job hunting . Something with benefits , full time ( yes , gotta have more hours ) and something where I can stand my own two feet . Something that I can build a future on .
I have been very much at peace with myself and trying very hard to be that way . I also trying very hard not to be a burden on my family , been trying to be as helpful as I can for them . I look back on the years my life I see I have many , many wrong choices . A lot of times it was I was blind or ignorant of the the true facts of what was really going on . I was so intent on making things work and long lasting I just didn't see or just didn't want see what was really happening behind the scene's. My professional life was great I had that under control , it was my personal life that spiraled . I am just very good at choosing life partners . They all say they looking for the something ,when really they are want their cake and everyone else's too . So I am realizing that I will spending the rest of my life by myself . Because no will look after me better than me and my family . I am not say relationships are bad , they are not . They are great if all are on equal footing and pull in the same direction .I just feel that after the many times I have tried and failed at this late stage of the game it not in the cards for me . It not the lack trying , its that I do not have it in me any more . I believe if I want company , it will have to be a dog or cat for me . They don't ask much of you , just make sure they are feed , healthy ant get some of your time . They always be there for you , and glad to see you all the time .
I know not what lays ahead for me but I will take it on the best I can .
I then walked around town checking out stores for a little metal lunch box that I could strap on the back of my bike . So I can carry a little snack or lunch for my long rides that I do occasionally take. I did manage to find something I could use after checking out three stores . I then went the local barbershop to get my hair shaped up . So I could look like something , not rag-a-muffin .
What this all have to do with my writing a long thoughtful blog ,that will take a couple of days to write . Well , if you don't know by now ,you have not been reading my blog all the long . Its all about feeling good about myself and moving toward with my life . Here I am turning 59 and starting all over again from scratch . I have been taking small steps to moving toward , with the job I have now its all about moving forward ,getting the cash flowing again . Once I get some form of motorized transportation , I can think about some serious job hunting . Something with benefits , full time ( yes , gotta have more hours ) and something where I can stand my own two feet . Something that I can build a future on .
I have been very much at peace with myself and trying very hard to be that way . I also trying very hard not to be a burden on my family , been trying to be as helpful as I can for them . I look back on the years my life I see I have many , many wrong choices . A lot of times it was I was blind or ignorant of the the true facts of what was really going on . I was so intent on making things work and long lasting I just didn't see or just didn't want see what was really happening behind the scene's. My professional life was great I had that under control , it was my personal life that spiraled . I am just very good at choosing life partners . They all say they looking for the something ,when really they are want their cake and everyone else's too . So I am realizing that I will spending the rest of my life by myself . Because no will look after me better than me and my family . I am not say relationships are bad , they are not . They are great if all are on equal footing and pull in the same direction .I just feel that after the many times I have tried and failed at this late stage of the game it not in the cards for me . It not the lack trying , its that I do not have it in me any more . I believe if I want company , it will have to be a dog or cat for me . They don't ask much of you , just make sure they are feed , healthy ant get some of your time . They always be there for you , and glad to see you all the time .
I know not what lays ahead for me but I will take it on the best I can .
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