THIS WEEK

             This week I am about to do something never thought would do ever again . I am about to put a ring on my ladies finger . We have been together almost ten years , we have been through so much  as a couple . She dreams of the day ; well let go back and tell you about it .
            One early in our relationship ,she asked me a question . I was one of those that could be considered deadly in a relationship when its just starting. The question goes like this " What do you consider the perfect woman ? ". You see what  I mean , answering that could have dire consequences to a relationship in its beginnings.
           Well ; yes I did answer the question . No I did not answer it in typical guy fashion ; I did not say Hallie Barry ; Whitney Huston or even Tyra Banks . It must have been because I was a bit more mature then  I thought I was . I proceeded to tell her . When I am old and gray and some what balding and retired , I will  sitting in a rocking chair some where on a porch watching the grass grow and the world go by . This woman will come out with my glass of ice tea and hand to me as I smack her on her rump , while I have a devilish grin .
          She then looked at me hard and wondered . She then asked how doest that make her the perfect woman ?  I answered well because she is the one that is still there .
           Well , here we find ourselves ten years later , after every thing we have gone through .Including a recent scare at the hospital. Yes , to be honest she did tell me I had to do this before her birthday in Febuary .
          How come it took me so long , that I can not give a answer for. I probaly should have done this a long time ago . I quess I was just  comfortable with things as they were . Shoot isn't that the way us guys are .  You can't blame me for doing what come natural .
        Now I find my self  haveing to go out and buy a meaningful engagment ring . Which I must say I have never in my 56 years of life done before . For this I cann't just pop in to Wallmart pick one up.Yes I know they have a jewelry counter , but that would be cheesey . Almost as bad as going to a pawn shop .
       My problem is that I have a small budget , and with the ecomony the way it is you all should understand . So how do I procede . I want her be happy and I don't want later look at that ring and wonder could I have done better . Yes I know its not the ring but the meaning thats put into it . Well the thing to do right now is just let it happen .

THE FIRST POST OF 2013

                      Yes my first posting of the year .I have neglected my projects this past week for which I am sorry . I have disappointed myself and let myself down . For this I have only myself to answer too . How am I to improve if I do not work at it .  Yes ; I am wondering what life has in store for me next . I will never know if I do not reach for it .
                      I am looking to make improvements in myself , my blog and my life . This can not be done if not proactive in seeking results . I have some self improvement classes that I am taking later in the month , that will take up ten weeks or more . I think my problem is I need to get some control over productively using my time available . I also need to be on the look out for things to write about .
                   I need to remember the reason I started to write this blog . Its suppose to be a narrative of my thoughts about every day things in my life . Also I should remember where I got the idea for the title . Thoughts from the head . That room in our life that no one person can go with out using on a daily basis . Here lately when i am in there my mind has been a blank , In fact ,I think in the past few weeks I believe I have been on automatic pilot . I think there are a lot of people out there whom are doing the same thing . Just plain existing .
                 I have yet to do some serious work on the possibility of that great American novel idea I had . I may have causally ran some thoughts through my head and not putting any notes down on paper . Yes , I need to regain control . Six months ago I was full of energy and ideas and was ready to dive in head first . Well this year I have to make a difference in my life and do something with it .
               As sit here writing this , looking out the window at the cloudy sky and the chilly temperature's outside , I see can not be as gloomy as it looks outside . I must learn how to make to most out of every step I take . From this moment on I am going to make a promise to myself that I will make every effort to make every moment count for something . Be it for my blog , my education , my job , my relationship and life . Wow , that is a lot of ground to cover . This is going to take some concentration , and be aware of where I at . Its the awareness that is going to take a lot of effort . Maybe Buddha's Eight fold path will be of use here .
              *Right Understanding                    * Right Thought
              *Right Speech                              *Right Action
              *Right Livelihood                          *Right Effort
              *Right Mindfulness                       * Right Concentration                                
           You know what I think Maybe the thing to to do is write all this on an index card , to carry around with me ,to remind of what I am working toward . I really want to make the changes ,to make every moment count that I have . Wow I have already covered a lot of ground today . I have really put alot on my plate for this year . I hope time will be kind to me ,so I can get some where with this .  

THE LAST DAY OF 2012

               Here it is the last day of the year . Are you ready for 2013 ? I think not , here our government is still arguing over taxes . they working on a deal right down to the wire , instead of doing their job in the first place . Its been my experience when you wait to the last minute , the job never gets done . You always forget something . Enough of this .
             Unlike our government , have you done everything and or accomplished every thing on your to do list for the year . I would like to say I did but that is not the case . I still have a lot to do that I am carrying over to the new year ,with some more added .
                 2013 , what does that mean to to you .  I remember back in , lets say for instance 1976 because that was our Bicentennial . I was 19 years old I thought that the year 2000 was a life time away let alone 2013 . I in my mind I had plenty of time to get things done . Little did I realize that as you got older the years would go faster with each passing year .Take right now for instance before we know it we will be thinking of 2014 . Yes it will go that fast . So if you want to get some thing done this year do not stick your toe in the water to test it : just jump right in feet first and get it over with . In otherwise just jump into your projects full bore , just get it done . Oh ; I forgot to ask ,have you planed for the next year . Were waiting to see what the new year is going to bring and play by ear . Well , it will not work ; I have tried that for to many years that I can remember . You will get any where that way . Yes I do have some plan for the year , details have to be worked out but I do have a plan . it may be a short plan .
               I want to grow my blog , don't know how am going to do it . I do know I have to put forth a more concerted effort . No more hap-haggardly working on it . Up to now its been mostly working off the top of my head .
              In my job I want to be in a better place than I am now . I know what has to be done there .To start with some classes to make myself more knowledgeable of my area of work .
             In my personal life I have to put some work into my relationships . And that is already been put into action .
            In dealing with with taxes and the economy there is not much I can plan for . At least till our government gets off its high horse and do its job .
            So in closing ; I ask you do you have a plan , or are going to play it by ear ?

HOW DO YOU GO FOWARD

                         How do, go forward in these times of uncertainty , with a government that does not seem to be doing the peoples work ? I am trying to make a plan for the coming year on how to improve things . You can't make any plans ,not knowing how taxes are going to affect you or the nation .
                         So how can these people in Washington in all conscience collect their pay checks . really what should happen is if they don't get the job done their pay checks should be withheld until it gets done .Don't threaten the money that our vets and elderly need to survive . The wrong people are being held responsible for their inaction .
                       What is so hard about balancing our nations check book . There is not an infinite supply of money for our politicians to spend . Our pockets are not that deep . They need to get control over costs , and  a hard look on where all our money is going to . Take a close look at the aid that we are giving to other nations . What are we getting our money worth from them . Are they biting the hand that's feeding them ,if so lets stop feeding them . Just in that alone we could save a lot of money . Then all the money going to projects that there is no real need for or is already being done by another branch of government , A lot of duplication in government . The there is a lot of people in our government who may be misspending our money .
                         And why do government employees need a union . the government already represents them and pays them more than well enough . Those are costs that we do not really need .
                        Why does our Representatives wait till the last minute to work things out . What are they doing ,waiting see who blinks first .So you our Representatives ,lets get our collective acts together .

A WEEK TO GO

                   Now that Christmas is over , there only seven day's left to the year . Seven day left to reach any goals you may have for the year ; make any changes in your life for this year ; to evaluate where your at and decide where you want be this time next year .
                   Yes all of resolve that the coming year is going to be better than this year . Do we take the time to plan how it is going to be better or do we just go into the year and just let it happen . I my self most of the do the latter ; but this year I hope to do better . I have seven day's to reflect on what went right ; what was wrong and decide what am going to do about it .
                  This is the hard part being brutally honest about the past year ; my successes ; my short comings ; whats expected of me for the next year and most of all where do I see myself this time next year .Yea I have taken a few steps to improve my mind by enrolling in some classes . I am smart enough to realize it will take more than that . It's all in the follow through . Do i have what it takes to see this through .
               Professionally can I see myself still doing as I have done for the past seven years ; NO . I have to make steps to make the changes necessary to make an improvement . Is it some thing I am doing or not doing that's keeping me where I am at . I admit that at times I am not do as I should . I need to be little more understanding . But all boils down to though is that I am there to get a job done , and if your there to have a social life it is not possible . That's where the drama starts .
              Relationship wise I have a lot decisions to make . I have been in this relationship for almost ten years . I do know I love her but there are times that I hate her so . But I think realistically every one goes through this . I am so comfortable with the way it is now ,but I do need to make changes to make it a better one .
             My living situation cold stand for some improvement , but for this to occur every thing I have mentioned so far have to be improved upon . This can not happen with out improve other parts of yourself . They are all connected in some way and affect each other . Another thing needs to happen right along with it .The economy has see signs of improvement , If our government don't make changes in it self  ; nothing in our life's will improve all that much . We as people remain deeply divided on the issues we face . There seems to be little or no discussion . When there is no one really listening to each other . No can find common ground ; every one thinks that the other person has to give in . Or one side feels that they have to run rough shod over the other . Every one thinks they know whats best for everyone else .

           So in the coming seven day's a lot has to happen ; our government has to get their collective act together and solve the problem at hand . We have have to make the hard choices in our lives to be able to handle what may be ahead . So there is a lot to do for the next seven day's . It all depends on what is important to you . So as you can see the new year is not just about the biggest party of the year , Its about what are you going to do about the coming year . So where is your head at ?
       The picture to the right is me at the time of writing , 4 am and raining and cold out side ; kind of fitting isn't .it . With all question ahead of us the coming year . So this is where my head at right now .

YEP ITS CHRISTMAS EVE ALREADY

         Here it is Christmas eve already . Man ; this year has gone by so quickly an so much has happened in the past year .
       We went through a complete election cycle . Some are happy with it ,others well . It all depends on how you voted , how it came out for you .
       A new grass roots group came about . Tea partyers , their effect on Washington has yet to be determined , only time will tell if they have staying power .
     A lot has occurred to me personally , some good and some not so good . The outcomes have yet to be seen .  Oh yes I finally joined this century , I bought myself a laptop ,started a blog and contemplating writing a book . I have yet to find the courage and concentration for such a project . I many ideas and have yet to act upon them . Enrolled my self in some enrichment classes .
          There have been a lot of changes that came about worldwide and we have yet to see that an end is near for any of them . There is so much uncertainty in this world being carried into the next year . All the unrest and conflicts around the globe . Kind of makes you wonder if it is at all possible for man to even get along .
          I looking forward to the next year , I am hoping for some improvement in the world , my nation , and personally . I have this custom that I follow ,well a couple of them . The first is that I must work on the last day of the year and the first day of the year . I believe that this somehow insures that I stay gainfully employed . I have done this for the last 15 or so years ,and it has worked so far .
         Another thing I do is buy a new pair of shoes to wear the first day of the year . This so that I do not carry the dust or problems from the last year with me into the next .I do not know if it helps but a person needs all the help he can get ;right .
          It is my hope that every one enjoys their holiday and the new year in a manner that suits them as they see fit . Be it Christmas , Hanuka or what ever manner you celebrate the season . Some of us will see a white Christmas other whom tend to go for more tropical locations but they enjoy it non the less though. It is what is in the heart not where you are located . Tomorrow enjoy your family gatherings , church services , your holiday meals . Oh yes there are the football games and parades to be watched too .What ever is on your agenda for the day I am sure it will be good . Remember to be safe so that you can see the new year in .
          Lets see what we all can accomplish in the coming year , so as we can make the world a better place and improve upon our own life's that we can . Enjoy I say enjoy yourself's ,friends and family alike . And thank you for bearing with my ramblings .

TODAY ; DECEMBER 21 2012

          Today is suppose to be our last day according to the Aztec long count calender . MMM is going to happen at midnight . Don't think so .
          Here is a thought maybe the guy whom chiseled out the calender could not find a big enough rock to keep going . How about this : its might be a beginning of a new awareness . Wouldn't that be some thing mankind find a new self awareness , of who he is , what he is about to become .
           Along with that an ability to live peaceable with others . The strength to discuss differences together and come up with an answer that every one can agree with . Now that would be some thing , but I know that is to much to ask for . For man kind for some reason can not accept any thing but total control of every thing around them . From birth we always have striven to be the one that is noticed more than others . We all at some point worked hard to become the head of the pack . We all want to be the one calling the shots . It boils down to survival , that' the way it always has been . For example ,take a look at our politicians , we can not get them to agree on anything even the shape of table they will sit at .
          So when and how will the end come , I have no idea . I know one thing , with my luck my numbers will come up in the lottery and two hours later at the stroke midnight the world would end before I get a chance to claim it . Now that would be irony wouldn't it . Finally have a chance to try out my day dreams and not be able to do it . But we all know that the world will continue as it always has . Many have said the end is near before and then it never came to be .
           Does this mean that tomorrow will officially be the first day of the rest of your life . If so what are you going to do with it . A day as significant as this ,we should not waste it some thing trivial or do we . Maybe we should find some thing grand to do with . Or does mankind go on as they always have unaware of this days possible importance . How can it be important if we do not make it so , or if no one knows it . Yes we may take claims of the end of the world as a joke and laugh it off .
        I say here's our chance to actually to bring the old to an end and start anew with a different perspective towards life and the world . Lets use it to make a better world or at least we can change what we do control around us . That is to say our self's , this can be a good starting point . A avalanche  always starts with  a pebble and grows larger . Are you going to be one off the pebbles .

MY DAILY DAYDREAM CONTINUED

                             "IMAGINATION  IS EVERYTHING . IT IS THE PREVIEW OF LIFE'S COMING ATTRACTIONS "  ALBERT EINSTEIN    
                  Yesterday I wrote about my day dreaming over lottery tickets if I win . So according Albert Einstein I am perfectly normal . I also day dream about a lot of things around me .
               As I walk around doing my job my mind is always wondering . My mind is always on my job but I still let my head wonder and think about a lot of things . My future , my job , and my life with my lady and her family . I have yet to see any of the coming attractions I have daydreamed . Although half the time I have a little trouble remembering the details of those dreams . So that is a little problem trying to put in to action the fantasy's that  I come up with .
                Though some how that was not the intent of Einstein's statement . I believe he meant if can be thought of some how it can be done eventually . Given the time it takes to research and development of the idea . Then there is the trail and error period until you can find what works . I suppose this process can work on our day dreams to .
              We humans are nothing with out our imagination . Even back in the beginning of time when our ancestors sat around the campfire and told of there great hunting stories . When they told of the one that got away . Wait a minute we still talk of the one that got away and even greatly exaggerate it some .It mat become bigger and the battle it gave us maybe longer than reality . We are funny creature are we not . When many of the things we do are still the same as way back when .
               I tell you this much my imagination will never stop , I will day dream of better days . Not that it's so bad now . I have every thing I need ; a good job , a roof over my head , food to nourish me , a good lady that's been by my side for some time and my health for now . But one we dream of a better life , its those dreams that prompt us to make the changes to help to occur in life . So here' to my next daydream , oh that will be today . There's a lottery drawing tonight . I can hope can't he .

MY DAILY DAYDREAM AND DISAPPOINTMENT

                Have you ever bought a lottery ticket and imagine how you spend it and the changes in your life you would make in your life . so that it would last the rest of your life.
                Yes ; I am guilty of going through this exercise with every ticket I buy . I kind of get my hopes built up every time and when the drawing occurs I do feel a little let down . I always ask myself afterwards why do you do this to your self and yet I go through this with the next ticket .Well that's part of the fun of buying that ticket .
                  I don't go over board with buying tickets . I only get one per drawing . So that's only four a week ,its only the big one I buy the mega and power ball . I use the logic of you can't win it unless your in it , and it only takes one ticket to win . The problem is your have get the right number combination to win . There are so many methods to pick the numbers ; birthdays , quick pick or you may come across a series of numbers you may feel are your lucky numbers . How ever you come up with them you still have have the right numbers .
                 The disappointment you feel as you check the numbers one by one and see you didn't get them . You might be one above or below or may get just one or worst case not even come close . When all is said and done you feel little disappointment when realize that the day dream is not going to happen that day . Then  your remember there are going to be other drawings .then life goes on .
                 One such daydream scenario I have is that the first year I would buy a modest house in the foothills here in North Carolina with a couple of acres . I would start a garden and grow my own vegetables . I would have a little building next to it with a little canning kitchen in and pantry . O the front side would be a patio with outdoor kitchen for cookouts and just plain relaxing and enjoying the out doors . I have also pictured a few rows of grapes so that could make my own wines both white and a red . In that picture I would make my own beer too . All for my own enjoyment on that patio . I would have cookouts for close friend's and family .
                I also thought of becoming a professional student and start taking classes a the nearby community college just keep busy and to keep my mind active , as part of that daydream .  Don't think that would be good way to retire and enjoy life . It all would definitely keep me busy . The question would be would I be actually be happy . I sure would like the opportunity to find out .
               For now now I would just have to be happy with my life as it is right now . I will have to continue getting up going to my job and do it as i have every day . Enjoy what I already have in this my real life . I admit there are things in this life I could be doing better with . But that is another whole blog .  And so I will have tocontinue on with just enjoying my daliy daydream .

DRAWING A BLANK

          How often do you just sit there in your living room , riding a bus or just walk through a door way that you mind just goes completely blank . You know some thing was on your mind or you were about to do something , and you forget what it was . I done this many times my self . I would be working ,and just be rolling right along and you go through a door and wham , what did come here for .
               Other occasions that it may happen , you may be working on some thing important for your self and you need to come with idea's for some thing and you are just dumb founded . You just have nothing . When some times sit down to try to put a plan together , i just can't come up with any thing  .        
                At work I do a lot of walking at times I swear I become a zombie and just into automatic . Just go around and let instincts take over . My work still manages to get on schedule . With any thought at all . When I want to do some serious work I really have make a effort to focus on the project at hand . Like right now I am consciously thinking about this , yes though there is a little distraction from my music in the back ground .
                 The main reason I am writing about this right now is the other day I wrote about goals . I started to try to come up with some my self and when I really got down to it my mind just left me . A gone fishing sign was in the window . I guess the main thing is that when it come doing the responsible thing like this , its always so hard . I can imagine the life style I want but I just do have any idea how to get there . Its hard to sit down and make a self assessment of my skills and talents . It's also hard to come up with a realistic idea of what i can do to get there . Is there some thing wrong with me or does every one go through this . I know I need not come up with some lofty plan ,that is no conceivable way that I could do it . I know I have to find away with my limitations and know what it would take to expand my abilities . I know the first step must be one that can done with ease . Then from that point I should build on it . The question still remains what road do I take to find the crossroad . I realize the journey will not be easy .
                 So the question is how do I just fill my head up with ideas and all the junk that it takes to come up with a well thought up plan . The only thing I can come up with right now is get involved with some classes that will force my mind to work harder than it has been .  Yes ; I do know the brain is a muscle that needs exercise ,which I know I am guilty of not providing it with . This will soon change in the coming months . Man just can not go through a mindless  existence . When you do so you just go no where and maybe take steps backwards . You look at successful people you will notice one thing , they always got some thing going on ,always trying move forward toward some thing .That the state of mind I must put myself in .
               In closing I believe I am on the right track . Identifying the problem is a good step ,also coming up with a way to solve it is going in the right direction .So here's to filling up my head , but don't leave room for an occasional day dream . But not to much .