Making it happen

                 You never know what can do till you do it . Take yesterday I rode my bike for about 30 miles . Before yesterday I would told there is no way that I do that . There were some thing that I had to get done , and this moment a bike is my only way of getting around . Well not not exactly , I could of asked for a ride , but I am the kind of whom tries to as much as he can on his own .
                 While you are there peddling that bike down the road , you see a lot of scenery go by that you don't normally notice other wise . You also have a lot time to think ,when your not peddling as hard as you can to get up that hill in front of you . To bad I do not remember most of what I thought about today . I do remember the determination that had to get through that ride and the sense of accomplishment I had at the end day . Oh yes how well I slept last night . Now what need to is translate to determination to getting my life back on track .
                     So far I have doing that but I could do more . Not that am doing what can but more can be done . I am working hard at that though . The next week there is a lot to do , looking for a better way to get around , a job that could easily live off of , or many jobs to get me there . It not like I can count on winning the lottery tomorrow . Not that haven't tried , I keep thinking , let this be the one . But never close . So I must find the determination and the strength in myself to get it done .
                       When I do the small things in my life , and get them done ; it gives me the since that I can do this . I just keep placing one building block at a time in the foundation , before long I will get there . I promised myself , I will not be in the same place next year , that will have moved on to a better place . I can not see it now but its going to happen , its inevitable . Change is always happening , can't stop it . So you got to change with it and make it work  . But the change is better when your the one making it happen .
                      The hardest thing I find in trying to rebuild your life , is remembering what you have left behind . Also in the knowing that your building up from the bottom , and you see where everyone else is in their life . The think why is that not me . I not talking about being jealous , Evy or anything like that . You just wonder about what you could have or should have done different . Its to late for that now , I just have what got work with . All I can do is do the best I can and stay positive about the progress being made . I am just saying at times its hard to look around me , and see where could have been in my life . Sorry about being a downer right now . All can do is make the change happen .