Here's to felling good about me

             Well , yesterday was a good day , I would say .  I walked 5 miles into town . Then did the same 5 miles back . Some might say it wasn't because of the distances , comments I  might hear is I wouldn't do that or something of that nature . That's just it I am not you , I needed to do something on my own , to feel a little freedom . Do something , where I did not depend on family to get me around . It felt good , got a sandwich at a little shop , took care of little business while there . On the way back got a ice cream cone to nibble on , on the way back . Its amazing that how the little things can just feel so good .
                In the spirit of this little bit of freedom , I bought me a seven speed cruiser to ride around on . Took it for test this afternoon , and it rides good . This will do till have  a better transportation solution . May go into town for coffee in the mourning , we will see . My family will not let ride it to work though , they don't want me on these country roads at night . I can see there point , people drive these roads like its a race track . Progress is being made toward my independence . It is my hope to out on my own again by spring at the latest .
                    I have my brothers garden looking good , been working on it every day for last week except the past two days , the ground has been too wet . Maybe tomorrow . I also started on the horse shoe pits , all that is left is put sand in them and drive the stakes in. Then maybe will get some games in before the snow falls . Which may not be long . They telling me they do not look for that bad of a winter . I hope so . I really not ready for my first winter in over thirty years . Progress is really happening for me , It not going as fast as I would like , but it happening none the less .

Just off on another tangent , oh how the mind wonders

                Well , it's a sunny day here ;when the clouds are not in the way . It rain steadily through out the night . So the soil in the garden was very moist this mourning . Some mud stuck to Mr favorite slides while working in it . The garden is starting to look like something .
                  Its  hard to believe I have been here in Michigan a month already . In that month I have baled and put in the barn a lot of hay , driven a tractor , started working in my brothers garden ( its starting to look good too ) , started working a job in the evenings . I pulled an old ten speed out of the garage all needs is inner tubes and will be rideable . May start doing some bike riding when get the chance before winter sets in . Going to work on getting a permit to ride a scooter in state , because I should be able to get a scooter in about another four weeks . I will be able to get around on my own soon .
                 My tells me we should have one more cutting of hay to do  before this season is over. If I am not in good shape before the year is up something is wrong with me . I finally realized that this is going to be the first real winter I have experienced in over thirty years . I mean like real snow that lasts more than a couple days , single digest temperatures that last more than a few hours . That is something I can't wait for and at the same time can do without . I know that I have got to work on getting some winter clothes and a warm coat . I have a lot to with a short time to do it in . Also my brother and I are planning to build a couple of strip canoes over the winter . It looks like my plate full for the next year . I must also work on a more permanent transportation and living solution during all this . So much think about and do , when you starting over , most of all I have stay on track . I have do it in a way that sticks . No room for a relationship , well maybe a cat or dog , but that's it .
                       As I writing this , I am sitting in a screened in room on the back of house , that looks on the barns , gardens , hay field and the trailer I now stay in . Its not much but the trailer is comfortable right now for sleeping , with the cool wind blowing in . Back to the screened  in room , the cool breeze and temperature feels good and the nice view in front of me . I am stress free , unlike over a month ago . I now have a clear picture of what's ahead , I not wondering what drama is coming my way today . I still have to some work my other project I have trying to get started to the past couple of years . Now that the drama is gone I can do something about it . Maybe by my being busy it will push me closer to working on it .
                          By my trying to be active , I will find the time to do everything , and possibly meet the right kind of people that need to be in my life . While sitting here working this blog another thought came to me , cross country skiing  . How hard is that and will I enjoy it . Another thing to think about is the cost to get started . Will it be worth the money for me to invest to find out if I like it .I will have to check .
                          I have also noticed in the past month , now that am posting an entry in my blog I have been getting more hits . I say thank you all whom been reading them . I do invite all of you post comments , they very welcome .

Possibilities are endless

         Its just simply amazing , When I got off work and got home . We just looked up at the night sky and really took a good look as we got out the car . The stars were just shining so bright and there just so many of them . There's not even a cloud in the sky for them to hide behind . I could see the big dipper clear as day .
             Its a nice cool and comfortable night , heck the mosquitoes are not out dive bombing you as you are staring at the sky . All you can hear are the crickets , toad's and the cows on the neighboring farm mooing . The only thing you can hear of civilization is the occasional car coming down the road in front of farm .
               With that to come home to , how can things not get better for me . Notice how positive my posts have been getting since I moved back home . I already know what my week has in store for me , work every night at the restaurant , Wednesday have to bail and put in the barn .
                  It plain and simple this is where I should have been all the long . Here in the country ,with family , in a place I know best . With this that is in the evening sky ,how can anyone say there is not a better life waiting for me . As in the sky , as it here on our little blue planet the possibilities are endless .

Lots to look forward to

              Well on my way back , got my first paycheck , turned on my phone and have new number . Started my third week on new job , work tonight and had the past two days , got plenty of rest ; ready to get started again .
               Have plan place for to move forward . Need to take it one step at a time . I need not rush this to where I screw things up . Keep my eye work and getting my life on track . The rest will fall place by itself . Have something planned to occupy my time this winter . No time to just hang out , just have time for getting it together . I don't have time the stuff I put up with the past . Either your with me or not , if not bye don't need you.
               So far living out here on the farm has been good for me . Lots of hard work , plenty of rest and the quiet of the evenings and days for that matter . They all have been wonderful . The support I am getting from my family has been wonderful . Not mention the support of my many friends on my social networks I belong to .
                 Today is such a nice day , I slept in a little , have to work tonight . My brother getting some hay cut today and I thought it was time for another entry . Really don't have much more to say . Though I looking my brother's grandson ride his tractor around the yard . He cute with His little green and yellow John Deer that drives till the batteries die . Ain't family great .
                    Looking forward to Thanksgiving it will be first time I celebrated it in years , it will wonderful to do it with family . Hope sister can come out  this fall , it will be great seeing her . My little girl who isn't so little might come up this coming summer with her daughter and husband . Lot's to look forward to .

Who needs sleep

               Here it is 2:00 in the am and I can't sleep . I don't know why because yesterday I put in a long day . It started at nine in the mourning ; I help my brother put almost 500 bales of hay in the barn and still went and worked my regular job . You something that long day felt good . I feel like I done something worthwhile . I know  my body is sore all over right now ,and I should be tired but instead I am sitting here at this picnic table in the dark writing this blog entry .
                It is so dark out here I barely see fifty feet in front of me with out a light . I can here the sounds of frogs and crickets out there some where and the meow off the occasional cat here on the farm . There is a little chill in the air , enough so that I put on a wool cap and light jacket . It sure feels good out in the country . Hard work , good food , and family getting together to get the job done .
                 To tell the truth I do not miss the city that much at all . I am not feeling as though I have to keep my guard up all the time any more .
                 Last night while I was working I did get chance to see some friendly faces of people whom I went school with while at work . I did not recognize many mainly because its been 40 years since I have seen many of them . But hope to have a chance to see more of them now that am back home .
                    I am fortunate to have this chance to start my life new , leaving behind much of what has made life hard these past few years . I feel I can make my life work this time . I have only couple plans on the block at this time . I am just going to keep it simple for now . I going to what needs to be done to make toward progress , with hard work , and sticking to the plan .

Sumptin will happen

           Here it is three week since I have arrived in Michigan , the place call home . The reason I say that is that I am a military brat , we lived in several places while I was growing up . This is where I went High School , this where I gained my work ethic by working neighboring farms and most of all this where my Dad came to retire . Which also was his boyhood home . Every has a place to which they anchor their lives too , where there roots and family history is . A place too which brings them comfort .
                 I have able to rest and get much needed sleep in between work and all the hay I have been putting up . One thing I did have to get used is how quiet it is at night . Gone are the jets taking of all day and night ; the train rolling in at all hours and certainly the sirens from the Police ,fire trucks and ambulances . I have the neighbors arguing and parting at all hours . Yes it peaceful , you may hear the dogs in the area barking or gun shot every so often , but that is normal for the country .
                I do miss the transportation system of the city but you have to make some trade offs , don't you . I will make things work here , so things are sort of following my plan . It will be better when I finally get in my own place and not be in the way of my brothers lives . When can finally get on with my life . Right the important things come first food , shelter and transportation ; the rest will fill itself in . But I can say life will eventually get better . I have remain positive and make it work for . I have to be realistic though I can't expect it to as good as want it to be . Shoot I am almost 60 , so don't have much time to make the rest of my life as good as I need it to be . I may not ever be able to retire , but that is price I must pay for the choices I have made . Something will happen .

Finding my place

                     Well I have made a week on my new job . Now to start the long process to bring some since of normalcy in my life . First step transportation , then a place to live in town , a Michigan state Id  , and the right kind of friends . Yes I have here almost three weeks , so I guess I come a long way .
                     I have got to find my own things to occupy my time when not at work . I been keeping busy helping my brothers on their farms with the hay but I need to find something of my own to work on . You know my own place of sanity . After playing around with my brother's grandson's kitten , I decided I need one . It was cute and fun.
                    I do have plans to start on my winter project  , that probably work on with one of my brothers . So I guess I am making progress on building my new life and reality . I can say so far it feels good to back home in Michigan , maybe I should have never left in the first place. But you know as well as I do when your young , you are in a hurry to find your own way . We don't listen to the advice given us because  basically we were just hard  headed .

The need to do things right

                         Well its two weeks since I made that all difficult decision to leave an all to uncomfortable situation . So far I have reconnected with my family , found a job and set with a temp living quarter's . I would say some progress has been made . I still have long way to go towards getting my back on track . Yes I know things do not happen over night . My biggest concern is getting off on the right foot .
                          When I start having money coming in , I just have to remember the big picture and and only put it towards the important things like transportation , a place to live , and paying my brother's back for all their help . The important thing is get back up on my own two feet . Get to where I am taking care of my own needs , and still be able to help my family with their farms when I can .
                          One very important thing is I need to find the right of people to associate with . I do not want to get dragged into what I left behind . It would do me any good , I want to improve my life , not stay in the same boat . I am very far from retirement and just want be able to take care of myself . Relationships are the furthest from my mind , they seem to my biggest downfall . When I am in what think is one , I am blind what is reality .  So at this time or ever ; it would not be good to get involved in one  . If I feel I must I will just get cat or dog , that may all I can handle .
                               I did though leave behind a few good friendships behind with people whom I worked with over the years in Charlotte . I know I will miss these people . My job and professional relationships were not my problem . It was my home life that was really messed up . I hated leaving my job behind . It was where I went to get away from home . That is weird isn't it , most go home to get away from work but went to work to get away from home . It was where I went to get peace of mind and a chance to see my many friends . At this time the only people I see is my family and the people at my new job . My biggest fear right now is letting my family and the people I work for down . They are the one giving me the chance to build a new life for my self . I really need to do things right .