Just live

          Amazing attitudes change so much after a few weeks . When and after I moved in with my lady ,the future looked so dim and bleak . I did not think our relationship would survive . I was willing to just walk away .
          Today was such a pleasant day . I now am really part of a family . Something I haven't been a part of for some time . We now have our finance's straight and lady our dog is now provided for . To tell the truth I was not to keen on idea of having a dog , let alone a pit bull . Now I am loving it . The walks and someone to talk to that will not tell the whole neighborhood . I can bitch about stuff and no repercussions .
                Tomorrow my other half's mother is coming for a few days . So I will find out where I fit in . I am beginning to feel the love again . There is not a day goes by that one of the grandkids are over to the house . So there is always something going on .
                 Monica my lady has made it her mission to get to loosen up , enjoy life more . In the past all did is work to make sure all was provided for . I had no time or money to just enjoy . So no I guess I have to find things I enjoy doing and just live . I guess that is what today was about .

Life goes on

           Well live goes on . Life has been difficult ,with relationship such as it is . You see I am a white man living with two black women , one of which is my other half of about twelve years . It has been an eye opening experience . I am learning much about myself .
             I know much my relationship issues stem from our differences . We are working hard at it , but at yes it can be trying .She has five grandchildren which I enjoy . I one thing I do get from all this is the since of family ,which I have not enjoyed in much of my adult life .
              Yes I have complained about my relationship ,but I do continue on . It been a struggle both emotionally  and financially . Here I am almost sixty and trying to a life with a woman just like I tried when I was twenty . I started with her with no good foundation .
               On top that she is recovery , which she is doing well . The thought is still in my head are some our issues because of this . But when we sit out on the step I see her smile , and how proud she is of her man . She is always talking about her plans for our future . I hope she realizes I do not have many good working years left .
                I will happy if we can just make it work and last the rest of our life's journey .I am looking to make some thing last in my life .

24

                What difference 24 hour's makes  ,I now have a completely different attitude today . Got of work ,got some rest , some air and relaxed . Had a nice little talk with my lady ,got some things out in the air . I am not completely happy with it , but it's progress . That's something right .         
                  But one my issues is not solved , still no laptop . I did find this app for my phone ,to keep my blog going .Its workable but not my ideal situation . My fingers seem to be to big for the keys .
                 I still have no worked out ,how will work on my book project . That answer will come time . Tomorrow I work on helping my lady get our room put together . I have to put together the bed that came in this week . I guess putting the house together will help with the attitude . It all helps .
                 

A Little Set Back , But It Will Not Hold Me Down

                   Well a little set back ,my laptop was stolen . I have no one to blame but myself . Stupid me . At times it seems the harder I try everything just goes to hell .                     
                    I just so unsure of where  don' stand at the moment , so I choosing to just set back and watch , just to see what happens . I hope that it's something I can live with . Right now there is so much uncertainty in my life and at the moment I have no idea to change this .
                   I be working so hard to make everything work ,at times it does ,and others it don't .What the burn is it's so late in my life . Things that should have resolved or grown out of , I am still going through . I am not in my twenty's no more , those games should be over with . It seems some people never get over it .
                   These people make it so hard to do things in the correct manner . Why do they got try to get over or beat the system . Then why it catches up with them , every else is wrong . Another thing they are quick to point out your faults but when you say something it's stop your whining or they don't want to hear it .
                  I am so depressed over this ,because I am looking for answers that just seem to be coming my way .

Will I Live Though It All , Lets Hope I Do

                                 Its been many years since I dealt with Two year old's let let alone children . I was not able to be there for my girl through most of her child hood . I am finding myself at almost sixty , lacking the skill set to dell with children . Right now I find my self taking a crash course in taking care of kids . My other half , she has five grand children , At any given time there are always one or more if not all them around . At times they a bit overwhelming . Throw in a one year old dog that does not listen . At times it's circle the wagons or even run for the hills for this guy whom has been living by himself most of his life .
                                 I have moved in with my lady almost a month ago , I tell you it has been a learning experience . Not only am I am learning to live with kids , I am learning to live with another adult in the house. I am so use to doing thing a certain way ,on a chosen day the week , and in a specific order . I could put some thing down and week later it would be where I left it ,undisturbed . Not any more , I have to remain flexible , things change by the hour . With four adults, five children , a dog and job nothing stays the same for long .
                          To top it of try to get rest for a third shift which I work . Also try work on my personal projects which I have been work on . Well that is a lie . If I had been truly working on them I should already have a good start and the skill set to stay on track . I would have at least a substantively amount of work done . I should have been able to see some progress done . I am at present trying to come up with a way to deal with and accomplish things at the same time . I realize its going to be a learning process with a lot of wrong turns and dead ends .
                            A lot of it has to do with a times I really do not know what I am doing . As I am writing this I am trying to referee two two year old boys , an escaped dog and maintaining a sense of order , so that grandma can sleep . I hope to get some rest soon , as have to work tonight . Well Here's
to my survival

An Adventure

                        Today I took with me my two year old grandson out for the day . When we started off , first we had make sure his brother got on the bus for school , which we ran around the field by the church . They chased each other , each having a toy car in their hands . They did this till the school bus came . All were smiling , so the day was off to a good start . The little guy and went back to the house so I could get cleaned up , so we could head out .                                                                                                         When we finely went to leave , in it took three try's to get away , Lady my dog kept trying to follow us down the road . I guess she thought it was time for her walk . It probably my Fault though , I been on vacation all week , lady and I been going for a lot of walks together ,also with all the kids that been to the house . So she must have thought she was coming with , Sorry lady .                                                                               Tj and I finely  caught bus to the bank . The little enjoys riding the bus , He was all wide eyed , he was looking at every thing outside the bus and inside . He was looking for the hi-rises that he would see uptown . We headed uptown after the bank and He saw the stadium   where the Carolina Panthers play , The ball park for Charlotte Knights and Arena where the Charlotte Hornets play on the way .                                          We switch buses to go to my job and pick up something needed for next week . We got of at the green way and walked the rest of the way . The walk way is along a stream and this intrigued a whole lot .He so very Talkative the whole mourning .Every thirty seconds it was ,"paw paw " . Then some question will follow .  I Finally got around taking care my business , all the lady just loved the little guy .                                              We went back the green way because he saw some ducks . He was just amazed by them being in the water . He seen some land in the steam , it all look look did you see . He stayed there and watched quite awhile .  I managed to pull him away so we could continue on our journey . He came upon a water fountain where this lady let her dog jump in play . TJ looked on intently . Just from the look on hi face you tell he was enjoying himself . At this fountain , he had to just throw a penny in .                                                                      We came upon the bus stop that would take us home , thats when started getting sleepy . The bus came and he was out before we got to our stop . In fact I ended up carrying him home . All were tired and it was a good day for all .

                 
                     

A Start

                     Today I have spent a couple of hours on my book idea ,while at the library . While there I had came up with many ideas to develop the story with . Actually I have my lady Monica to thank for this . She the the one that said you are not going to hang around the house during the whole week of my vacation . Get out do some thing ,go to the library anything . I guess she did not want me in her hair ,the whole week some time apart is good I guess .                                                                                                                                                I guess I could have spent more time in there , but I needed to get outside for some air . I did sign up for a library card , its about time right .Right now I am sitting on a bench outside with a drink on the street uptown while writing this . The sunshine and the cool breeze is refreshing . Even with all the noise and activity that comes with being uptown . You know I am kind of liking this and probably do this more often . Which means more entries in my blog . Things may become more positive as time goes on ,you think .                            Yesterday I came uptown just to hang out . Checked out the library , the park near the baseball stadium uptown . Some time this summer I plan going to one of the Knights games with a friend , who a former pro ball player . I do not really care for baseball but I think I would have fun none the less .                                  Today I read some on the early history , the development of their laws , government and culture . All which seem to have common link . What found out was very informative and interesting . All of which is worth exploring further . I came up with a some what of check list of what need to learn , to make my story more believable .I have only been playing at my idea for the past two years . Only in the past couple of weeks I have reading about the empire . For something that has existed for a good portion of recorded history they teach very little about in school . Much of what they have done , is still a great influence 0n the world today , forms of government ,laws , writing ,culture and even currant boundaries . As you can see I seem to be getting excited about what am discovering for myself .