Thoughts in my head

                              Well , I know this no excuse , but in seven days I begin a weeks vacation . I plan on starting on many of my projects . The one I am most intent starting on is my book Idea I have had on my mind for a couple of years and many false starts . My main problem is not knowing where or even how to start .                                                                                                                                                                                         I have found several outline guides and sit there looking at them with no idea how fill them out so that they make some sense , I do now want to put down a bunch of unrelated thoughts or is my job to make them relate to each other in some way . I have also found several books to read on the time period to read , but find it hard to read them without distractions . Many of my distraction comes from things that are just a part of every day life .  OK , I admit it , at times I have problem staying out my e-mail , Face book and Pandora and the like at times .                                                                                                                              I have even thought of taking some classes on line , I just can seem to commit . Another problem is thinking I may not understand or lack the critical thinking to do the work . I guess the only way to get past all this is jump right in . Am I over thinking all this ,should just go forward and hope all the pieces just fit together . Do other face the same issues that I am going through .                                                                                          Right now I am writing this while waiting on the start time for my job . So finding places to work or even time is not my issue . The issue is me within me , my doubts on my ability .

Getting it together

                                 Well I have been in the house with my Baby almost two weeks and things are going better than I expected . I have yet to start on my routine of going to the library to work on my projects . We are still trying to develop some sense of normalcy ,also arrange the house so that it is livable , with four rooms and one small bathroom it can be a little difficult .                                                                                                              Her grand kids love the fact that they can see their Paw Paw at anytime . We have been playing the yard with a ball and bat when it has not been raining . We have been getting a lot of that over the past week . I have beginning to wonder why I have not made this level of commitment sooner . Maybe I had been unsure or just scared of making that leap . I do know that the feeling of being part of a family feels good .                                                                                                                                                                                                   I know we have been part of her life for about twelve years now , we should have made this kind of move a long time ago . I also know there are many things that I should have done . When you live on your own and far from your own family , with no one to share with for guidance that you can trust . I been kind of partly responsible  for not being a part of my daughters life . I just did want her mother involved with my life creating drama and such . With in my opinion , for every action comes an equal or greater reaction . Some of which would take up a lot of unnecessary time and energy to clear up . So I just kind of stepped back and stayed out of the way . I only now regret missing out on my daughter becoming the adult that she has become .                                                                                                                                                          She now has daughter of her own in school , a job with the sheriffs department as a school crossing guard , a house of her own and from what I can see loves her very much . Things that can make a father proud considering the obstacles she had to overcome , A father that was not in her life much and a physical handicap . She has done darn well for her self . I am not sure I should be talking about this , but I am getting a sense of relieve getting this out .                                                                                                                        I have got to say I have been working real had at making this work with my lady . I feel as though that there has to be at least some thing I made work and last in my life . She tells me all the time how important I am to her and how much she and her kids ,and grands love me . Heck even her pit shows the love . Man, that makes feel so good to come home and the dog greets me with excitement . The grands when they come over they look for me to come out and play . Life is good and getting better .

My getting started ; maybe late but just the same I am doing it

                I have sincerely been neglectful this blog that I started a couple years ago , On top of that I have not really been doing what I need to do , to work on my book idea . Over the past year I seemed to have lost the steam that I had in the beginning . You all know how you when you have an idea and something new work on we are all gun-ho about it . Some we see through some end up on a shelf collecting dust .                                                               Well I guess That is about to change . I recently moved in with my lady that I have been seeing for about twelve years . She told my me I need to start getting out the the house and do something . She goes you are not going to lay around the house and do nothing when you are off work . Find something , hang out with the Grand kids ,go to the library , go for a walk uptown ,what ever just get out and do something . Well she is right I have been wasting to much time .                                                                          I going start with going to Library about twice a week and work on the book idea and see what comes with it . About year ago I wrote about a halve a page to use as starting point . The biggest obstacle will having no real idea of where to start , let alone how write and come up with story line worth reading . I will be going blind . Just as I have been with this blog . Truth be told I do not know what am doing .                                                                     I am just simple person , I go to work do my job . Which by the way is not rocket science by any means . I just do what have to and hope that I every comes out right . I take care of my responsibilities hope I did not miss some thing . I have only about six good working years left . No idea how I going to make it in retirement , but that's my fault for living in the now and looking into the future . Don't take it that am complaining , I am just venting and as I am writing I am seeing a plan being worked out to where I just get started . Its better late than never .                                                                                                                              I just do not want to wake up one mourning and wonder what if . Part of the getting started was moving with wonderful lady I am with ,yes the plan is that will get married . Also build a wonderful life together . This is something I should have done so many years ago . The rest should fall in place as I get started ,