Today , is a new start . I have come to realize that every you can not control everything that happens in your life . There are some things that just happen ,and you have work with it as is . This is especially true when you people in your life that are close to you . This has been the source of the drama and problems in my life at this time .
They go and do things you may not approve of , with out considering how they do affects everyone around them ; or even how long it will take to straighten it out . Not only that , it affects you in other areas as well . I borrowed this book from the library , yesterday I read about a hundred pages and right now at this time I can't tell a thing about I read . I did not retain a single thing , I found myself forcing my way through it . The hell of it is I really what to understand the material . Its all suppose to help me toward accomplishing one of my goals . So at this I am confused about where to go from here . Is true you can not teach an old dog new tricks . I am going to go to library to see if there is something a little understandable for me .
Sorry I went off topic for a little . If you been reading my blog for awhile , you would already know that I tend to do that . The problem I have is with my relationship , at times it seems it not what I am looking for ,others it seems to work for us . You see I have spent most my life by myself, also missed out on family life . Never really went all out to celebrate holidays , birthdays and such . There was no need , it was just me and I worked most of them . I helped others celebrate them but I didn't . It just another day on the job . I missed out on growing up with my daughter . So lack some of the skill sets I would have learned to deal with grandchildren and family . I look back and see there is a whole lot that I missed in my life . Don't read this wrong , I am not complaining ,just wishing I had made other choices . I just cruised trough life thinking it would work itself out with little or no effort from me .
That puts me in the position that I am trying too work this out on my own at this late stage of the game . I am now trying to capture the feeling of a family life. I find that I am making mistakes on a daily basis . Me and my lady are trying to work this ,and other issues out . Its kind of hard though with a blended family for two fairly different cultures . It a lot of work , times I have no idea of what am doing . I have been finding that a lot with other things in my life .
I have been finding that I want to reconnect with my own family and don't know how . It just so hard to sit down and open up and share my life's happenings ,the good and bad . They have the things going on in their life's that long for in my own . Look at them and me it seems to be that we are in different worlds . I am still working hard just make my ends meet . Honestly lately that has not been happening . Well that is enough of me and my wondering thought process . So I going to end it here before I get lost and end up somewhere I do not want be .
They go and do things you may not approve of , with out considering how they do affects everyone around them ; or even how long it will take to straighten it out . Not only that , it affects you in other areas as well . I borrowed this book from the library , yesterday I read about a hundred pages and right now at this time I can't tell a thing about I read . I did not retain a single thing , I found myself forcing my way through it . The hell of it is I really what to understand the material . Its all suppose to help me toward accomplishing one of my goals . So at this I am confused about where to go from here . Is true you can not teach an old dog new tricks . I am going to go to library to see if there is something a little understandable for me .
Sorry I went off topic for a little . If you been reading my blog for awhile , you would already know that I tend to do that . The problem I have is with my relationship , at times it seems it not what I am looking for ,others it seems to work for us . You see I have spent most my life by myself, also missed out on family life . Never really went all out to celebrate holidays , birthdays and such . There was no need , it was just me and I worked most of them . I helped others celebrate them but I didn't . It just another day on the job . I missed out on growing up with my daughter . So lack some of the skill sets I would have learned to deal with grandchildren and family . I look back and see there is a whole lot that I missed in my life . Don't read this wrong , I am not complaining ,just wishing I had made other choices . I just cruised trough life thinking it would work itself out with little or no effort from me .
That puts me in the position that I am trying too work this out on my own at this late stage of the game . I am now trying to capture the feeling of a family life. I find that I am making mistakes on a daily basis . Me and my lady are trying to work this ,and other issues out . Its kind of hard though with a blended family for two fairly different cultures . It a lot of work , times I have no idea of what am doing . I have been finding that a lot with other things in my life .
I have been finding that I want to reconnect with my own family and don't know how . It just so hard to sit down and open up and share my life's happenings ,the good and bad . They have the things going on in their life's that long for in my own . Look at them and me it seems to be that we are in different worlds . I am still working hard just make my ends meet . Honestly lately that has not been happening . Well that is enough of me and my wondering thought process . So I going to end it here before I get lost and end up somewhere I do not want be .
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