24

                What difference 24 hour's makes  ,I now have a completely different attitude today . Got of work ,got some rest , some air and relaxed . Had a nice little talk with my lady ,got some things out in the air . I am not completely happy with it , but it's progress . That's something right .         
                  But one my issues is not solved , still no laptop . I did find this app for my phone ,to keep my blog going .Its workable but not my ideal situation . My fingers seem to be to big for the keys .
                 I still have no worked out ,how will work on my book project . That answer will come time . Tomorrow I work on helping my lady get our room put together . I have to put together the bed that came in this week . I guess putting the house together will help with the attitude . It all helps .
                 

A Little Set Back , But It Will Not Hold Me Down

                   Well a little set back ,my laptop was stolen . I have no one to blame but myself . Stupid me . At times it seems the harder I try everything just goes to hell .                     
                    I just so unsure of where  don' stand at the moment , so I choosing to just set back and watch , just to see what happens . I hope that it's something I can live with . Right now there is so much uncertainty in my life and at the moment I have no idea to change this .
                   I be working so hard to make everything work ,at times it does ,and others it don't .What the burn is it's so late in my life . Things that should have resolved or grown out of , I am still going through . I am not in my twenty's no more , those games should be over with . It seems some people never get over it .
                   These people make it so hard to do things in the correct manner . Why do they got try to get over or beat the system . Then why it catches up with them , every else is wrong . Another thing they are quick to point out your faults but when you say something it's stop your whining or they don't want to hear it .
                  I am so depressed over this ,because I am looking for answers that just seem to be coming my way .

Will I Live Though It All , Lets Hope I Do

                                 Its been many years since I dealt with Two year old's let let alone children . I was not able to be there for my girl through most of her child hood . I am finding myself at almost sixty , lacking the skill set to dell with children . Right now I find my self taking a crash course in taking care of kids . My other half , she has five grand children , At any given time there are always one or more if not all them around . At times they a bit overwhelming . Throw in a one year old dog that does not listen . At times it's circle the wagons or even run for the hills for this guy whom has been living by himself most of his life .
                                 I have moved in with my lady almost a month ago , I tell you it has been a learning experience . Not only am I am learning to live with kids , I am learning to live with another adult in the house. I am so use to doing thing a certain way ,on a chosen day the week , and in a specific order . I could put some thing down and week later it would be where I left it ,undisturbed . Not any more , I have to remain flexible , things change by the hour . With four adults, five children , a dog and job nothing stays the same for long .
                          To top it of try to get rest for a third shift which I work . Also try work on my personal projects which I have been work on . Well that is a lie . If I had been truly working on them I should already have a good start and the skill set to stay on track . I would have at least a substantively amount of work done . I should have been able to see some progress done . I am at present trying to come up with a way to deal with and accomplish things at the same time . I realize its going to be a learning process with a lot of wrong turns and dead ends .
                            A lot of it has to do with a times I really do not know what I am doing . As I am writing this I am trying to referee two two year old boys , an escaped dog and maintaining a sense of order , so that grandma can sleep . I hope to get some rest soon , as have to work tonight . Well Here's
to my survival

An Adventure

                        Today I took with me my two year old grandson out for the day . When we started off , first we had make sure his brother got on the bus for school , which we ran around the field by the church . They chased each other , each having a toy car in their hands . They did this till the school bus came . All were smiling , so the day was off to a good start . The little guy and went back to the house so I could get cleaned up , so we could head out .                                                                                                         When we finely went to leave , in it took three try's to get away , Lady my dog kept trying to follow us down the road . I guess she thought it was time for her walk . It probably my Fault though , I been on vacation all week , lady and I been going for a lot of walks together ,also with all the kids that been to the house . So she must have thought she was coming with , Sorry lady .                                                                               Tj and I finely  caught bus to the bank . The little enjoys riding the bus , He was all wide eyed , he was looking at every thing outside the bus and inside . He was looking for the hi-rises that he would see uptown . We headed uptown after the bank and He saw the stadium   where the Carolina Panthers play , The ball park for Charlotte Knights and Arena where the Charlotte Hornets play on the way .                                          We switch buses to go to my job and pick up something needed for next week . We got of at the green way and walked the rest of the way . The walk way is along a stream and this intrigued a whole lot .He so very Talkative the whole mourning .Every thirty seconds it was ,"paw paw " . Then some question will follow .  I Finally got around taking care my business , all the lady just loved the little guy .                                              We went back the green way because he saw some ducks . He was just amazed by them being in the water . He seen some land in the steam , it all look look did you see . He stayed there and watched quite awhile .  I managed to pull him away so we could continue on our journey . He came upon a water fountain where this lady let her dog jump in play . TJ looked on intently . Just from the look on hi face you tell he was enjoying himself . At this fountain , he had to just throw a penny in .                                                                      We came upon the bus stop that would take us home , thats when started getting sleepy . The bus came and he was out before we got to our stop . In fact I ended up carrying him home . All were tired and it was a good day for all .

                 
                     

A Start

                     Today I have spent a couple of hours on my book idea ,while at the library . While there I had came up with many ideas to develop the story with . Actually I have my lady Monica to thank for this . She the the one that said you are not going to hang around the house during the whole week of my vacation . Get out do some thing ,go to the library anything . I guess she did not want me in her hair ,the whole week some time apart is good I guess .                                                                                                                                                I guess I could have spent more time in there , but I needed to get outside for some air . I did sign up for a library card , its about time right .Right now I am sitting on a bench outside with a drink on the street uptown while writing this . The sunshine and the cool breeze is refreshing . Even with all the noise and activity that comes with being uptown . You know I am kind of liking this and probably do this more often . Which means more entries in my blog . Things may become more positive as time goes on ,you think .                            Yesterday I came uptown just to hang out . Checked out the library , the park near the baseball stadium uptown . Some time this summer I plan going to one of the Knights games with a friend , who a former pro ball player . I do not really care for baseball but I think I would have fun none the less .                                  Today I read some on the early history , the development of their laws , government and culture . All which seem to have common link . What found out was very informative and interesting . All of which is worth exploring further . I came up with a some what of check list of what need to learn , to make my story more believable .I have only been playing at my idea for the past two years . Only in the past couple of weeks I have reading about the empire . For something that has existed for a good portion of recorded history they teach very little about in school . Much of what they have done , is still a great influence 0n the world today , forms of government ,laws , writing ,culture and even currant boundaries . As you can see I seem to be getting excited about what am discovering for myself .

Thoughts in my head

                              Well , I know this no excuse , but in seven days I begin a weeks vacation . I plan on starting on many of my projects . The one I am most intent starting on is my book Idea I have had on my mind for a couple of years and many false starts . My main problem is not knowing where or even how to start .                                                                                                                                                                                         I have found several outline guides and sit there looking at them with no idea how fill them out so that they make some sense , I do now want to put down a bunch of unrelated thoughts or is my job to make them relate to each other in some way . I have also found several books to read on the time period to read , but find it hard to read them without distractions . Many of my distraction comes from things that are just a part of every day life .  OK , I admit it , at times I have problem staying out my e-mail , Face book and Pandora and the like at times .                                                                                                                              I have even thought of taking some classes on line , I just can seem to commit . Another problem is thinking I may not understand or lack the critical thinking to do the work . I guess the only way to get past all this is jump right in . Am I over thinking all this ,should just go forward and hope all the pieces just fit together . Do other face the same issues that I am going through .                                                                                          Right now I am writing this while waiting on the start time for my job . So finding places to work or even time is not my issue . The issue is me within me , my doubts on my ability .

Getting it together

                                 Well I have been in the house with my Baby almost two weeks and things are going better than I expected . I have yet to start on my routine of going to the library to work on my projects . We are still trying to develop some sense of normalcy ,also arrange the house so that it is livable , with four rooms and one small bathroom it can be a little difficult .                                                                                                              Her grand kids love the fact that they can see their Paw Paw at anytime . We have been playing the yard with a ball and bat when it has not been raining . We have been getting a lot of that over the past week . I have beginning to wonder why I have not made this level of commitment sooner . Maybe I had been unsure or just scared of making that leap . I do know that the feeling of being part of a family feels good .                                                                                                                                                                                                   I know we have been part of her life for about twelve years now , we should have made this kind of move a long time ago . I also know there are many things that I should have done . When you live on your own and far from your own family , with no one to share with for guidance that you can trust . I been kind of partly responsible  for not being a part of my daughters life . I just did want her mother involved with my life creating drama and such . With in my opinion , for every action comes an equal or greater reaction . Some of which would take up a lot of unnecessary time and energy to clear up . So I just kind of stepped back and stayed out of the way . I only now regret missing out on my daughter becoming the adult that she has become .                                                                                                                                                          She now has daughter of her own in school , a job with the sheriffs department as a school crossing guard , a house of her own and from what I can see loves her very much . Things that can make a father proud considering the obstacles she had to overcome , A father that was not in her life much and a physical handicap . She has done darn well for her self . I am not sure I should be talking about this , but I am getting a sense of relieve getting this out .                                                                                                                        I have got to say I have been working real had at making this work with my lady . I feel as though that there has to be at least some thing I made work and last in my life . She tells me all the time how important I am to her and how much she and her kids ,and grands love me . Heck even her pit shows the love . Man, that makes feel so good to come home and the dog greets me with excitement . The grands when they come over they look for me to come out and play . Life is good and getting better .

My getting started ; maybe late but just the same I am doing it

                I have sincerely been neglectful this blog that I started a couple years ago , On top of that I have not really been doing what I need to do , to work on my book idea . Over the past year I seemed to have lost the steam that I had in the beginning . You all know how you when you have an idea and something new work on we are all gun-ho about it . Some we see through some end up on a shelf collecting dust .                                                               Well I guess That is about to change . I recently moved in with my lady that I have been seeing for about twelve years . She told my me I need to start getting out the the house and do something . She goes you are not going to lay around the house and do nothing when you are off work . Find something , hang out with the Grand kids ,go to the library , go for a walk uptown ,what ever just get out and do something . Well she is right I have been wasting to much time .                                                                          I going start with going to Library about twice a week and work on the book idea and see what comes with it . About year ago I wrote about a halve a page to use as starting point . The biggest obstacle will having no real idea of where to start , let alone how write and come up with story line worth reading . I will be going blind . Just as I have been with this blog . Truth be told I do not know what am doing .                                                                     I am just simple person , I go to work do my job . Which by the way is not rocket science by any means . I just do what have to and hope that I every comes out right . I take care of my responsibilities hope I did not miss some thing . I have only about six good working years left . No idea how I going to make it in retirement , but that's my fault for living in the now and looking into the future . Don't take it that am complaining , I am just venting and as I am writing I am seeing a plan being worked out to where I just get started . Its better late than never .                                                                                                                              I just do not want to wake up one mourning and wonder what if . Part of the getting started was moving with wonderful lady I am with ,yes the plan is that will get married . Also build a wonderful life together . This is something I should have done so many years ago . The rest should fall in place as I get started ,

Some Thoughts of Thanksgiving

                              Remember , back in the day Thanksgiving Day was was much simpler . It was all about the turkey , football , parades , and the family , all the Aunts, Uncles , Cousins coming over . As kids we all sat at the kids table . Now if you looked around today , everyone at the adult table are the same faces as in the day when you sat at the kids table plus a few new faces . You begin to realise the adult table is the kids table . Only the conversation is about our jobs , the economy ,and politics , not the teenage idle that's on the cover of a teen magazine , or the poster of babe on your bedroom wall . On my wall were the Charley's Angels and The Police Woman . Frankly I was surprised my mom even let me put them up on my wall . Thanksgiving is not really the same anymore because the conversation of the women are of the sales they are going to hit that night and the next day . I long for the days when it was about sharing a meal with family  , where that day was an event not a prelude to Christmas sales . Am I wrong for thinking this , I don't think so . Its not the same special day it was so many years ago .
                            I do still hope that all had a great Thanksgiving Dinner with family .

             

   Well, here I am finally back here again . I have no excuses to offer, other than time just got away from me . Its funny how that happens on many things in our lives . You just say to ourselves I will get to it tomorrow , only many tomorrows and a blue moon later you get back to it . When you do you do not remember the draft you had started was about . Heck I do not know where this draft is going to lead either . I , to be honest , have no topic in mind to write about . Part my problem is no Idea's come to mind . I thought to my self if just sit down in front of the keyboard it would some how flow out from the tips of my finger tips .

                    I have not made any real contribution's to my G+ page either for that matter except for birthday wishes . Recently I decided I had better get more involved in my accounts . I just need to find something of myself that worthy of add to the discussion . Here lately it seems I have been on automatic pilot , I just been following the flow of things . I woke up lately and wondered what happened to the time . I had a book idea I started on and have not done anything on it , in about two years or more . I do have a two paragraphs on paper and some notes on ideas I want it to be about . 

                   Its been years since i have anything close to school or any kind of studying ,note taking or research . At times I think I might be to old to do it now . Not that I was any good at it when was in school . I am smart enough to realize that I only did what I had to do to get by . As got older , I began to see that this attitude was not going to carry me through life . A little extra effort goes a long way in your work life and relationships . I just got complacent and spent more of myself on work and my relationship with my lady and not doing anything about me . Its been wake up and go to work and respond to any crisis that she and her family comes up with . I have not done anything with or about who I am . It seems that work and her was all I was about , I basically lost me . I am sorry this is where I have to leave this right here . I hope that when I next sit in front of the keyboard I will meet myself again .