Time, a tangent and no answers

                       Man , I tell time is going by fast , since I been up here in Michigan . The fall season is upon us , the first I have experienced i many years . Its the kind of weather for bon fires , Hot apple cider , hot chocolate , powdered doughnuts , hay rides , haunted houses , and corn maze's . The time is going by fast .
                      I am still looking for answers to my questions . Still have no input , but that's my fault for I do not have active blog ,let alone one that's interesting . I have seen some quotes floating around that I thought would inspire me ,but when I sit here with my tablet in hand I go dumb . I could write about the debate last night , but I did not watch it because I lost interest in it . The campaigns have turned into a circus act . No real questions are being asked of them , hear lots of promises , and no real solutions to our nations problems . Mostly all you hear is the same old stuff just repackaged . The only thing I want to see is the changes that need to made to bring my country to what it once was . Respected ,strong and the america dream back as it was . I want to dream again and be able to act on them . We are over taxed , over regulated , everywhere we turn the is a tax or fee or some rules that all they do is prevent any progress to made . What's been created is bunch freeloaders whom do everything they can to hustle free money and goods out of our government and they have made it a career choice . We have a you owe me problem . I don't owe you a thing . Yes I may have had some help at times but I did not rely on it to live . Once I got on my feet I took care of myself . We all need help at times but you should not rely on others to take of you for life . Well my rant is over . I at times seem to go of in a tangent .
                            Back to my , main purpose of late answers to my questions. How should a sixty year old should act , know ,have accomplished and be at in his life . Do I really think that I could find solid answers . I have one year to find out .

Thoughts and Thank you

               I don't know how many times I started writing this entry , but lately my mood or state of mind hasn't been there . I have been trying to get it together . Its been slow going , I have more years than you shake a stick at , to make for. yes , I know that you can't make up for time lost , but you sure try to gain much of what you lost and more with hard work . I not going to be a victim here , I am going to climb out of this with much of my own hard work . I in my mind have been in a strange place , here but not here , wondering at times why I am doing what I have been . At times its just hard to get motivated , but I just push through it . Just as with writing my blog I have a loss of thought .
                 I have never got much feedback , throughout my writing of my blog . So at times I have to rely on much of my own thinking . I know I have been repeating myself over the past month on a thought I have . Still not much feedback but much of that is my fault . My blog is not read by very many . I don't write with any regularity , or at times with much thought or work into it . I have doing this for three years and at times I had ignored it because of things going on around me . Well in the past few months I have made more entry's because I had made steps in taking some control of my life . I know that I need put more work and thought into it . Yes , more hard work needs to be put into this and with time more people will I hope will read it . I do believe Thoughts From the Head can be a blog worth reading . I just need to make that investment .
                       As soon as I can get all my ducks in row and move past this point in my own life . I believe I have made the right move , I have so work to do to get all areas back on the right track . So maybe the reason I have purposed the thoughts I have in the past month is maybe that I am looking for some guidance in how I should be , where I should be when turn sixty . So how should act , what should I be doing , what should I be thinking ,how far along on my bucket list ? Mmmm I guess I should put together a bucket list . I have made the move to live for , work for myself , so what I do , does not involve others unless I want them there . So if your are reading this please share it with others the more thoughts are shared the better . My blog can only get better with your help . So shall end by thanking you .

Still with no idea

            Well, here I am a few days latter . Over the course of the last couple days I thought of many ideas to write about . Only thing is now that I am sitting here with tablet in hand ,I just can't remember any of them . I know thought of a couple while riding my bike in town . That just shows the need for me to carry a pen and note book of some kind around with me at all times . Never know when a thought will strike .
               The sun is shining ,with a strong breeze outside . The temps are more comfortable also . Such a good change over the past few days . I only one important thing to to do tomorrow ,so I am going to make up things I need to do , hopefully they will prove to make some progress toward my goals . I have many unfulfilled ideas to do , I think I need to at least get one of them out of the way . What could do today or the next couple days go through my notes and get a list . So I can have an idea of what I need to be working on .
                  I am very thankful of all the help and support I have received from my family in the last few months . I am working now but I would say that don't totally have me where I need to be . The things I need to work on should be in that direction . Its not likely that , Publishers Clearing House will find my door and less likely that I win the Powerball . So I have to get there on my own ,and with the family's help . November is coming up , the month for giving thanks , and I have a lot to be thankful for . I will try to thank all those that have helped me . I need to to take the necessary steps that their help proved to be fruitful .
                    Back to the purpose my blog to seek answers to to questions I posed in the last month . How is a sixty year old supposed to act , and so on . I am no closer to writing my last blog on that . What need is input which I am not getting . What things is does supposed to know and have  ? What experience's should have happened ? How far on the bucket list should he be ? How is he supposed act ? What spiritual revelations should have happened ? Is is all relative to his experiences ? So where does one begin to answer this ? Who do you ask ? Everyone I guess . I just need participation .It not hard to leave some thoughts on this , they can be left on my Google plus page , or The thoughts from the john page . You do not have to be sixty ,or have been sixty , anyone with some ideas can answer . I still have about 325 days till I turn sixty . I am looking to know the answer , I just doing this to have something to write about in my blog , and create a discussion . To be a discussion I need input from others . I need positive response's , humor , actually all kinds of thoughts .              
                         So who of you out there is going to break the ice . I will by the end of the week be adding another entry , so give me something to write about . All of us at some point have or will pass this point in our lives . We all are in this together .

What is Thoughts from the head

           Well ,today I am going back to the beginning of this blog . I have been writing this since 6/12 ,and its 192 posts later . I have know idea what I got me started other than I had just bought my fist computer . I have been pretty steady at making entry's ,except for a little dry spell ,where it just fell to the side ,life gets in the way at times . Here lately I have been pretty good at keeping up with it .
             How I came with the idea is rather silly . My Father when I was growing , being the naval man that he was . He called the bathroom the head , it was also the reading room , the library and and place to some thinking . So out of that came Thoughts from the Head . How many of us are guilty of bringing reading material in with us , or while in there do some thinking . I fact in so long that is hard to stand up . Yes , I know this is not a topic we just don't talk about.  I just saying how I came up with the name for this blog .
                So I unload some of my thoughts and ideas in here . I am always asking for people's thought's on things . I have gotten a few ,but not as much I would like but that is OK . That will not stop me from asking . I this approaching 60 years old . As I mentioned recently , So I have posted a question , rather a series of related questions .
                  How is a Sixty year old supposed to act ?  Where is a sixty year old supposed to be at in his life at that time ? Where on our bucket list should we be ? Is there some standard for when we reach these milestones in life ?
                    To be truthful I have idea on how to answer those questions , and no closer to know any answers . No idea where to begin . The thoughts I had were good just make me ask for more . I will returning to this often over the next year . For not am I only approaching sixty , but during this year I am going thru and making a lot of change's in my life . I have already made a few major changes . I do not plan on going backwards , I do not plan on being in the same place . Yes , it had starting over and thing don't happen as fast as you would like . You find that you can not make it happen with help . That makes it hard when for so long you've done it on your own . But apparently not good enough . You've let something in your life cause it fall apart and it don't just happen over night . It has taken some time happen and it was allowed to happen . What's worse is you did not see it coming . So at times , it comes to mind you think how did I not see it , how stupid was I . Because of it you give up a job you like ,leave a place that had become home .  It good that I have family that cares and will help .
                         So you see I have strong reasons to ask these questions , and a lot of ground to make up for . It may be to late , but I gotta do something . I have to make something happen in my life and it will .

Questions , My , My

                 Fall has came ,which tells us winter is not far away . After living south for so many years I find myself experiencing these seasons again for first time . Where I had been living all we had was hot and cold . I find myself enjoying this fall weather here in the great lake state . See the leaves change color , the colder nights ; which made for great sleeping . I find myself enjoying my mourning coffee and eating stews and soups more suited for this time of year . Oh yes , don't forget the obligatory mug of hot cider and powdered doughnuts .
                   When go around town you see everyone readying their homes for Halloween ; talking about the coming of Thanksgiving . Don't forget some are also thinking ahead and readying themselves for Christmas . When begin to see the leaves change you think of many things , football on Saturdays and Sundays , raking leaves , mowing the grass for last time before the snow falls , winterizing the house , fuel for heat ,and so on . Take for instance I have long sleeve shirts , so I had gone to thrift store and found me some flannel shirts and sweat shirts to begin readying myself for the colder temperatures the I will be experiencing . I no I will be in need of a good winter coat . I am also going to working getting a car or truck , I do not how much longer my bike will my mode of transportation . You really can't ride a bike in snow .
                        So much to do in so little of time , a better job ,transportation , a home my own , warm cloths . I often sit an wonder is it all going to happen . I do not want to be burden to my family to much longer . I have taking care of myself and others for so long , that I am not accustomed to letting others help me . I always have tried to do it on my own . You know it is a mans pride is at stake if he can't take care of his own needs .
                           I am meeting some of my needs on my own , I have also learned how easy it is to do without Television . I no longer feel the need to hold that remote in my hand . I am finding ways to pass the time without it . Though I manage to watch a little football . I have been getting some reading in too. Television is not as important to me any more but I have not weened myself off the internet . You need it to find and apply for work now . As for Facebook and Twitter I use it to keep up with the people I want to keep in my life . Also I use it to keep up with the news or when there is something I don't know and wat to find out about it . So that is one thing I seem not to do without .
                       I am trying hard to make the best of my situation . I do sometimes wonder about what left behind . You be with some people for twelve years and not have feelings for them . I wish the best for them but the place they had me in was not where I needed to be . What they were doing to themselves was not good , I could not let them take me down that path anymore . So am I doing good for myself , do I have the right attitude , and am I doing enough . Those thoughts are always running thru my mind , and wondering if the people around think that am trying to make it happen . There just much uncertainty in my life right now .
                  All I know I do not want to be in the same place as I am now . I want to see large gains in my life . I am still curious about the questions I have been asking in my past few blogs post I wrote . How am supposed act for my age . Questions , many questions my ,my ,my .

Making it happen

                 You never know what can do till you do it . Take yesterday I rode my bike for about 30 miles . Before yesterday I would told there is no way that I do that . There were some thing that I had to get done , and this moment a bike is my only way of getting around . Well not not exactly , I could of asked for a ride , but I am the kind of whom tries to as much as he can on his own .
                 While you are there peddling that bike down the road , you see a lot of scenery go by that you don't normally notice other wise . You also have a lot time to think ,when your not peddling as hard as you can to get up that hill in front of you . To bad I do not remember most of what I thought about today . I do remember the determination that had to get through that ride and the sense of accomplishment I had at the end day . Oh yes how well I slept last night . Now what need to is translate to determination to getting my life back on track .
                     So far I have doing that but I could do more . Not that am doing what can but more can be done . I am working hard at that though . The next week there is a lot to do , looking for a better way to get around , a job that could easily live off of , or many jobs to get me there . It not like I can count on winning the lottery tomorrow . Not that haven't tried , I keep thinking , let this be the one . But never close . So I must find the determination and the strength in myself to get it done .
                       When I do the small things in my life , and get them done ; it gives me the since that I can do this . I just keep placing one building block at a time in the foundation , before long I will get there . I promised myself , I will not be in the same place next year , that will have moved on to a better place . I can not see it now but its going to happen , its inevitable . Change is always happening , can't stop it . So you got to change with it and make it work  . But the change is better when your the one making it happen .
                      The hardest thing I find in trying to rebuild your life , is remembering what you have left behind . Also in the knowing that your building up from the bottom , and you see where everyone else is in their life . The think why is that not me . I not talking about being jealous , Evy or anything like that . You just wonder about what you could have or should have done different . Its to late for that now , I just have what got work with . All I can do is do the best I can and stay positive about the progress being made . I am just saying at times its hard to look around me , and see where could have been in my life . Sorry about being a downer right now . All can do is make the change happen .

How are we supposed to KNOW

                              Well ,I have not wrote on here in a couple of days its not that I been busy , but I have trying to come up with something to write about . Then I saw some posts on different sites that gave something to think about . They were more like inspirational statements . Stuff that may help you deal with what life throws at you . Well , its true that this moment is only temporary , it only lasts for seconds . You will never get it back . So life is always changing , and if you want or need to change , you must change with it . The hard part is making the decision , and knowing what to change . Then you must have courage and will to make it happen .
                                  I have made those kind of steps in my life in the past couple of months . I do have the what the hell were you thinking moments . But I realize that where I was at was not good for me . I was not in control of my life. The people in my life then had control . I loved them and still do but their only concern was themselves and their habits .It was their habits were their only concern . They did not care about anything else just that the need was met . Don't get me wrong its as much my fault for letting it go on for as long as I did . I will think of all I left behind , and it was a lot . A good job , friends , a city I enjoyed living in that turned into my home . But the change I needed I had to change it all . Being back where I came from with family is where I needed to be . Its not easy here but change is not supposed to be easy .
                                         I just have to make sure that every step I take is the right one . At times the right move you can not see right away , and you may take some shortcuts and skip over things that should be done first . There in lays the problem , there is no clear map of what to do or where to go . And this goes back to my question last week . How is man my age supposed to act . Where should he be at this point in his life . What knowledge should he gained by now . Is there something I missed  , something I should have read . Some experience that I should have had . Did grow to be the person I should have been . Am I wrong for wondering or even asking these questions . Who sets the norms , how in the hell are supposed to know all the answers .
                                    The biggest problem is finding work that will support the the change being made . It is really hard when you have nothing to start with . You have a work history but its not local and you no piece of paper that says you know what to do . The biggest problem is that they want to know why you left it all in the first place . Its not that they want to understand , its that can't understand why left what you liked behind . Why didn't you leave the situation behind . Will some things are not that simple , especially when you do not know what the person will do . Some times it all has to change . It just that you got be willing to do it and not back down . Don't think I haven't tried to to do it with out leaving the area . I tried many times , it does not work that way .
                                   Yes , I am happy with the changes that being made by me . Change for the better is slow . When start from the bottom , it can do nothing but get better . Well the only way to go is up , the only limit being made is by you . You alone chose how far you are going to go . Along the you must take time to repair the damage done to yourself , but you be looking to front all the doing it. Life can get get better if you build it on top of wreckage . There has to be a strong foundation , don't let there be any history not resolved put a crack in it . You to clear some things so it haunt you and slow progress . You what I mean , bills all caught up . All ties to what left severed . There can be nothing hold you back to move forward .
                                 Yes I am learning . Maybe that's what this is all about .My that is the answer I have been looking for . Just maybe that's what the meaning to this life is about , learning .
                                      

This is Thoughts From The Head

                Well , here I am again , I have forgotten how chilly and windy the falls get here in Michigan . You something though I am enjoying experiencing it again . It beginning to feel like home . When go into town I now run into people I know . I guess I went on my first date , met with I women I know from face book for a long breakfast and just chatted all mourning , talk to few people in the restaurant that I did not realize I new from the the old days . I am starting to become normal again . It all beginning to come together .
                    Went for a interview for better job , and landed a second interview , thank you . Ready now to buy a scooter , the second phase of establishing my self . Once I get this now to work on a truck and a place of my own . Still want to build the canoe over the winter , so can have one other activity to do in spring . Maybe try my hand at fishing . I also not going to do the one man canoe now , I'll put together a 18 footer , so that I can bring along some company . Yes I can now see change is possible and that better days are ahead of me . I see now that can fit in here at home . Yes I have a life .
                      Now if can some help with question that I been asking about in my blog . Maybe can a good discussion going here . Also maybe I can get back work on my great american novel idea again . I have been banging that idea around for a few years now . That idea is what really got me started with writing this blog  . Maybe its that needed to be at peace with myself . I recently read Earnest Hemingway's book The Old Man and the Sea again . I have read it so many times in my youth and seen to movie I do not know how many times . It a classic , just enjoyed it . I enjoy reading any way . But just can't pick up any book and read it , for some reason if it don't grab me in the first few pages  I done with it . I just can not force my self through it .
                             I figure if I read some good books it would help motivate me to do better in my blog and get going with the novel . But also just doing stuff like working on the farms and building those canoes with my brother . Living my life , experiencing winter for the first time in over thirty years , will get me going on my projects . I can see people are reading my blog , but I am getting no feedback so that I can know if I am heading the right direction . This is Thoughts From The Head . So have to put them out there .
                               Here it is most of the mourning is gone past ,and have this all put down . Oh shoot , I haven't had my coffee yet . What's wrong with me . But through this writing today I have stayed pretty positive in my thoughts . That is a big change . So let's get the comments coming so I can get things going . OK .
                                  If you can check out some my earlier blogs , that might help in getting the juices flowing around here .I know I have some good ones and some that are not so good .But that is with all things .